Some thoughts about people I know...People seem to be addicted to meth, alcohol and Power. The ones who are addicted to popularity by power tend to be bullies. They are often feeling very victimized themselves and feel powerless. Power. What a drug. Im worried too about certain friends. Worried they are under too much pressure, and then I feel guilty that by walking away to take care of myself, i cannot provide them with the support that they need. At the same time I need to take care of myself, because as I have seen, people are resourceful and will sort themselves out. I need to also find resources. I need my own fans and joys. I need to reclaim my power AND make sure I am not putting myself into a position of powerlessness.
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Living with chronic pain has changed all my abilities. I used to have super power and energy. As my health waned, so did my abilities and the ability to understand wtf was happening to me. As I got sicker, I felt more and more depressed. As I was more and more unable to talk about what was going, and had less and less social commodity, I felt more and more isolated.
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How does a woman feel safe in the world? It feels like everyone always wants something. Men especially.